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In Defense Of The Genre: Not Again

The shit just hit the fan.

From NME:

Emo music attacked over teen suicide

An inquest in Maidstone has heard that Hannah Bond, a 13 year-old girl from Kent, committed suicide by hanging herself - and emo music has been blamed.

Roger Sykes, the coroner who gave the verdict of suicide yesterday (May 7), suggested that the fact that Bond was an obsessive fan of such music was linked to her death.

The inquest heard that Bond had discussed with friends the "glamour" of suicide, and was obsessed with American band My Chemical Romance. She had a picture of an emo girl with bloody wrists on her Bebo page.

Bond's father Ray explained that his daughter had had an episode of self-harm prior to her suicide, which she told him was an emo initiation ceremony.

Her mother Heather Bond, also provided some background on her interest in the genre explaining: "There are [emo] websites that show pink teddies hanging themselves. She called emo a fashion and I thought it was normal. Hannah was a normal girl. She had loads of friends. She could be a bit moody but I thought it was just because she was a teenager."

However as he gave the verdict of suicide, coroner Sykes criticised the genre saying: "The emo overtones concerning death and associating it with glamour I find very disturbing."

If you're not already aware, this is not the first time MCR has been attacked like this. The last time it was in some crappy tabloid, but many people took it very seriously. Probably this will be kept pretty quiet here in the states, but I can only imagine what the reaction will be in the UK.
Everybody's got it all wrong.
"Emo initiation ceremony"? I'm sure there's some cracked up people out on the internet who would convince people of this. "Emo" isn't a cult, it's a label, a stereotype, but I wouldn't be surprised if there were some people trying to make it a cult. And, yes, there are some people who believe they need to cut themselves to fit in. This was her problem. Gerard Way said that he once saw a girl in the audience with cuts all over her arms. He said he thought it was sad that she felt she needed to harm herself in order to fit in.
MCR does not support this.
At the end of the video for "Teenagers," there is a short message from MCR - "violence is not the answer."
MCR does not support this.
"The emo overtones concerning death and associating it with glamour I find very disturbing."
Now, I'm not really big on "emo." I'm actually unsure of the actual meaning of the word, and I have a fascination with trying to find a definitive meaning for it. You may or may not label me as an emo kid, but (in case you couldn't already tell), I am a huge fan of My Chemical Romance. And I know firsthand how their music affects people.
Sure, The Black Parade is full of death, but it's about learning to not fear death, and at the same time, not fearing life. That very same album saved my own life, and changed it for the better. I'm one of thousands.
Go watch their documentary, Life On The Murder Scene. In the very beginning, Frank Iero says, "We're definitely a band that wants to save your life." Glamorous suicide, indeed.
This isn't to say that people who are MCR fans won't commit suicide. It happens, obviously - they're not a surefire cure. They've helped an enormous amount of people, but do you ever hear about that in the papers? Hardly.
My point is, you've got it all wrong. This girl's problem was not that she listened to My Chemical Romance. Her problem was that she thought she needed to harm herself, and that suicide was somehow glamorous.
The wrong people have been incriminated.

two letters to my favourite publications: this week in WTF

Dear NME,
Please stop posting The Daily Gossip. I wish I knew of a word to describe something that is simultaneously tasteless, uninteresting, and pointless. The Edge and Brad Pitt are apparently BFFs? Natalie Imbruglia's cousin? Quite frankly, who gives a shit? Now, as much as I hope that that item on Amy Winehouse's husband running away with his mistress is fake [it's from The Sun, so probably], that is some gossip that is actually vaguely interesting. Some dude changing his car battery not only does not qualify as gossip, but does not qualify as anything interesting.

Dear Rolling Stone,
Is nothing sacred? Does it mean anything any more to be featured on the cover of your publication? Because I beg of you to defend this:

You have probably the most well-respected pop culture publication in the world, and not to mention probably the most iconic magazine cover in the history of history. You should have known better for all the slack you got for putting Panic at the Disco (then Panic! at the Disco) on your cover.
I know it's a free country, but please, learn some shame.

kthx,
domino

kicking everyone's asses, as usual.

yeah, I've been gone a while, blah blah. but now that I know I have at least one reader, I am inspired anew...

so here's this from NME:

The Cure to release new single each month

The Cure have announced that they will release a new single each month leading up to the release of their 13th studio album in September.

Robert Smith and co will drop the first single from the as-yet untitled album on May 13, and intend to release a different a- and b-side single on the thirteenth of each month until the album is released on September 13.

The first single, 'The Only One', includes the b-side 'NY Trip'. The second single, 'Freakshow' -- due out June 13 -- contains the b-side 'All Kinds Of Stuff'.

Both b-sides are exclusive to the singles and will not appear on the full-length album. They were produced by Smith and Keith Uddin.

The July 13 and August 13 singles will be announced shortly.

The band are set to kick off an extensive US tour in support of the new album beginning May 9, as previously reported.

So after hearing bands like Muse and Smashing Pumpkins 'suggest' that this is how they might do things, The Cure are the first [well, as far as I've heard] to actually do it. I'm very interested to see how this works out, and to see which bands will follow suit. [My money's on the Pumpkins. The odds are pretty good, considering Billy Corgan's massive love for Robert Smith.]
Another interesting trend with singles lately - releasing them for free. Nine Inch Nails and Coldplay have done this already, releasing "Discipline" and "Violet Hill" on their websites, respectively. "Discipline" sports a sexy, catchy groove, but it's nothing you wouldn't expect from Trent Reznor by now, and it's not amazing. "Violet Hill" is more worth your time, featuring pure piano over Pixies-like guitars and a stomping beat.
If nothing else, NIN loses once again in the album art category. Coldplay's might just be the album title splashed in white across Eugene Delacroix’s painting, Liberty Leading the People (strangely enough, as the title was inspired by Frida Kahlo), but it's a hell of a lot more interesting than four black boxes and a red line on grey. Insincere, indeed, my dear Reznor. (No, I'm still not over that.)
We'll see if this catches on, or whether anybody releases something so great it'll create a whole slew of new fans... I definitely want to see where this goes.

p.s. Hi Abby.

okay, I know I haven't posted in like two weeks. if you're that interested, videos from Tempe Music Festival are up on my YouTube. I'll post pictures when I don't have a paper to write.

meanwhile... do we dare believe it?

Guns N' Roses finish 'Chinese Democracy' album

Guns N Roses have reportedly finished work on 'Chinese Democracy', the album that Axl Rose has been working on for the past 14 years.

Therockradio.com reports that Geffen Records, the band's record label, have confirmed they have received a finished copy of the album, and are currently haggling over money and rights issues with Rose.

The album is reported to have cost in excess of $13million (£6.5million) to produce.

As previously reported, it is rumoured that a Guns N' Roses reality TV show is set to be broadcast to coincide with the release of the album.

well, it seems kind of silly after years of release dates coming and going that we're finally hearing that the album is finished. you'd think they'd want to finish the album before putting release dates out, but I guess I'm too young to understand how things work.
as for said rumored reality show, let's hope that it's only a rumor. a reality show to coincide with an album seems like a cheap PR trick, and if the album is actually good, it won't need any of those. a reality show would only show lack of confidence.
personally, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks this, it's probably better if the album isn't released. after $13 million and 14 years, it's just not going to be as good as everybody wants it to be.
and what do you want to bet somebody inside Geffen is going to leak the whole thing? set lasers to Limewire.

Flogging Molly videos

Here, finally, are the videos from the Flogging Molly show. I'll post stuff from Tempe Music Festival when I don't have a paper to write and two two-day tests to study for.


Devil's Dance Floor


Drunken Lullabies


Float


What's Left of the Flag

awww

Fall Out Boy cancel record-breaking attempt

Fall Out Boy have been forced to cancel their trip to Antarctica, despite making every attempt to get to the continent

After bad weather prevented the band from making the scheduled trip on Tuesday (March 25), they looked to a special plane, which can land in adverse weather conditions.

The Hercules plane "has four propellers and is used for take-offs and landings in conditions with bad runways and bad weather," bassist Pete Wentz wrote on his blog.

Even the Hercules could not defeat the bad weather, however, leading to the cancellation of the trip which would have seen the band break a world record for having played on every continent.

"It's an utter f---ing disappointment... It's so insane. We had this idea, and then to not be able to fulfill it is just disappointing, especially when you put it out there. But what are you gonna do, wait until winter's over?" Wentz told MTV.com.

As previously reported, the band were to be joined by an official from the Guinness Book Of World Records for the trip, which they were making with Greenpeace.

Speaking from Chile, around two hours from Antarctica, frontman Patrick Stump said: "I'm sure 'Guinness' won't ever return our phone calls again, I'm sure a lot of people are going to laugh at us, but the fun thing is I'll be laughing with them, because it's pretty funny that we made it all the way down to Chile. And we got really freaking far. It's still pretty cool. If we lost, and our name is never in some book for breaking some record, it's still pretty freaking cool."

say it with me: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.

Random Annoyances

Velvet Revolver is supposedly splitting up.
Excellent. Never liked them. Anybody who does is just nostalgic for Guns and the Pilots. They’ll only be remembered as a novelty.
And I would have lost all respect for the entire world if they had actually been Led Zeppelin’s opening act.

Fall Out Boy to set record by playing shows in all seven continents in nine months.
In the words of Juno, “WHOA! DREAM BIG!” What have they really accomplished? Getting booked in Antartica and flying to all seven continents in a span of NINE MONTHS. That’s an average of less than one continent per month. That’s not exactly a talent, boys, especially in the day and age where we use airplanes, not viking ships. If you had done it all in a week or two, that would have been more impressive. Infinitely so.

Smashing Pumpkins suing Virgin Records
Billy. I love you. Okay? I do. I admire you to the ends of the earth. But you should know by now that the number one way to get people to hate you is to file a lawsuit. Metallica did it, and lost most of their fans. (Load and ReLoad didn’t help either.) We’re both part Irish, so I know it’s in our blood to seek revenge, no matter how many years it takes, but when you’re in the public eye, let it go. Especially after you reform your band with only one original member and release a new album. Because I am the only person in the world who is not going to mock you for using the phrase “artistic integrity.”
Especially when you release five billion different formats of said new album. We’ll not comment on the fact that I bought three of the different formats. (Each purchase was for a good reason and I can and will defend myself if necessary.)

Only Rob Sheffield likes the new Panic At The Disco album.
I think you can safely count me in as well. The fans are pissed because it’s not A Fever You Can’t Sweat Out. Everyone else is pissed because they tried to sound like the Beatles or whatever. I respect them for making a follow up that’s not their first album and for coming out not sounding like teenage musicians with a lot of MySpace friends. Give them some credit - they're barely in their twenties and they've come out with a very mature sound that most of their older contemporaries can't even touch. It would have been spectacularly easy for them to continue to ride the wave and release Another Fever You Can't Sweat Out, but it shows great musicianship on their part that they didn't.

This Week In Unnecessary Censorship

I'll eventually get those Flogging Molly videos up, and I'm going to Tempe Music Festival on Friday. I'll post pictures at the least - the review might be far too fanatical.
After a boring spring break and a slow music news week, I bring you this from SPIN:

Be Your Own Pet Tunes Too Violent for U.S. LP; Liars to Open Radiohead Tour

By William Goodman 03.24.08 7:20 PM

Three tunes off Be Your Own Pet's new LP Get Awkward -- "Blow Yr Mind," "Black Hole," and "Becky" -- have been barred from the album's U.S. version after being deemed too violent by Universal, which releases the quartet's albums through a deal with their U.S. label, Ecstatic Peace. "I guess that's just what happens when you decide to have something to do with a major label," frontwoman Jemima Pearl told NYU student paper Washington Square News. "They're going to be scared of anything that's not completely cookie cutter." [Via Pitchfork]

Before I begin my commentary, I looked up some of the offending lyrics. I could only find "Black Hole." Here's the worst of it:

Drinking Coca-Cola all night
Ooh, baby, wanna get in a fight!
Breaking glass bottles is oh-so-fun
Let's go and kill someone!
Living in this city, I get so bored
Wanna kill myself on a telephone cord

As I read these, I immediately thought of a song with a much more gruesome set of lyrics:

Rip the veins from human necks
Until they're wet with life
Razor-blades love teenage flesh
An epidermoty
I'll bring back a souvenir
For it's my mommy's dream
Can I go out and kill tonight, kill tonight
Killed a girl on lovers' lane
I kept her toes and teeth
Every night I stalk around until I find my keep
I'll bring back a souvenir
For it's my mommy's dream

That is, of course, the 1982 Misfits classic, "Mommy, Can I Go Out And Kill Tonight?". Now, as far as I know, this song was never banned by any record company. Then again, I wasn't even thought of in 1982, so if I'm wrong, please let me know. Whatever the case, I think I can safely say that the Misfits' lyrics are far more gruesome.

That was, however, 1982. It is now 26 years later and we're banning songs that melodramatically lament a town's lack of excitement (at least, that's how I see one way to interpret the lyrics). We can't save Americans from rock and roll. The kids will have their way of getting the songs eventually.

As Americans, we often think ourselves to be a refined, advanced society, and that the people in the country we tore ourselves away from are snobbish and stuck up. And yet, it's over there that they aired Monty Python's Flying Circus, warts, naughty bits, and all. I watched an episode on PBS the other night, and they censored out "blow job."

Clearly we haven't saved our kids from sex - the teen pregnancy rates in Europe versus the USA are at opposite ends. We haven't saved them from violence either. Europeans are much more open about the nasty topics, and it comes as a benefit to their society.

We need to confront rather than censor - clearly the latter hasn't helped us much. I'm sure Be Your Own Pet and the Misfits have different audiences (anybody who has NME.com as their homepage vs. eyeliner loving outcasts), but if kids get a hold of either bodies of work, it's up to their parents to deal with it.

seven days...

More Flogging Molly goodies to come. In the meantime...

The Raconteurs to rush release new album next week

Jack White and co's second album out in seven days (March 25)

The Raconteurs - the group featuring Jack White and Brendan Benson - are rush releasing their second album for next week (March 25).

The band have announced that their second LP, entitled 'Consolers Of The Lonely', will be "available everywhere" from Tuesday.

This includes vinyl and CD formats as well digital formats, although the band concede not every outlet will be able to meet their rapid release scale and some will have to "join as soon as they can".

The follow-up to 2006's 'Broken Boy Soldiers' features 14 tracks, and was completed the first week of March this year, and follows The Raconteurs joking last year that it would be a "drug fuelled" record.

According to the band the record was "then taken immediately to a vinyl pressing plant. Then to a CD pressing plant. Then preparations to sell it digitally began. March 25 became the soonest date to have it available in EVERY FORMAT AT ONCE. The band have done no interviews or advertisements for this record before this announcement".

The group added that they wanted the sudden release so that everyone, fans and media, got the record at the same time "so that no one has an upper hand on anyone else regarding it's availability, reception or perception".

The Raconteurs denied that the rush release was to counter an internet leak of the album, and they explained they would promote the record after its release.

"In the event that the record leaks, we didn't want this method of release to be seen as a reaction to such a leak," they explained. "It's not. The actual worst thing about a leak is the usual poor sound quality, akin to watching a movie on a wristwatch instead of in a theatre. Which for the album's creators is a bit of a letdown, but again, it is completely up to the listener."

A video for the single 'Salute Your Solution' will appear online on March 25 as well, although the band – featuring Jack White, Brendan Benson, Patrick Keeler and Little Jack Lawrence – prefer that fans download the album as a whole.

"The band also prefer that fans buy the album as a whole instead of breaking up the tracks, but until iTunes and other digital services allows bands to release their albums with the option of NOT breaking it up, it will be sold in that fashion on those particular sites," they said. "On the band's website however, the album will be sold in its entirety as mp3s at 320kb bit rate. Also in Japan, fans will be able to download the record via their mobile phones, as that is how a majority of recorded music is consumed there."

They concluded: "We hope not to confuse anyone with too many options, or deny them the formats that they like best. The Raconteurs feel very strongly that music has worth and should be treated as such. Thank you to all those who respect music in this fashion, and thank you to our label partners for working with us to get this album to fans in as many formats as possible all at once."

In the aftermath of In Rainbows, this is an interesting counterrevolution. I'm not at all surprised that a band with Jack White in it is leaning more towards tradition. The birth of iTunes has meant the rebirth of the single, and - generally - the death of "buying the whole album for one song" syndrome. I don't really feel negatively about their desire for fans to buy the whole album, but it seems a bit selfish to me. Before iTunes, buying a whole album for one song was just the way things were done, but now we have an option. It seems to me that the Raconteurs just want to get more money out of it, but my guess is that, if they eventually get the option of not breaking it up, it'll backfire. Don't forget, if consumers only want taht one song, they have their ways of getting it - and the Raconteurs won't get anything.

The Green Mile

Green 17 Tour
Flogging Molly, The Reverend Payton's Big Damn Band, The Cherry Cokes
March 16, 2008
Marquee Theatre, Tempe, Arizona

It is not St. Patrick's Day. It is, however, the day before, but it could be Halloween for all the fans lined up outside the Marquee Theatre could care. These fans make up Flogging Molly's surprisingly large Arizona fan base. Yes - Flogging Molly, an Irish punk band from Los Angeles, has their biggest fan base in Arizona. This is, perhaps, debatable, but hard to refute, when one considers that this is Flogging Molly's fifth straight year celebrating Green Day in Arizona, and that the line to get in to the sold-out show ends somewhere under the bridge. (For those of you unfamiliar with the area, that is one very long line.)
The people in this line vary, from clearly hardcore fans (a girl at the front of the line already has a Green 17 Tour shirt) to people just happy to be there (I saw at least two guys in Dropkick Murphys shirts, and another draped with a Scottish flag). At the moment, we all have two things in common: we are all cold, and we all want to get inside.

Once past the mob around the merchandise tables, we are greeted with a Jolly Roger flag, bearing the main act's name - with the Cherry Cokes' tiny banner on top of it.

It's a long wait before the Cherry Cokes take the stage. The crowd is impatient, but this work sto the Cokes' advantage. First, it helped us gloss over the fact that the stage was now occupied by six young Japanese musicians who burst into a whirl of punk-folk very fitting as Flogging Molly's opening act, and second, it caused the mosh pits to break out almost immediately. The Cherry Cokes were unusual, yes, especially in their choice of instruments (saxophone, banjo, accordion, mandolin, and others), but the crowd was ready for them, and their dynamic performance put us in the mood for Flogging Molly.
Our excitement, however, was interrupted.

The Reverend Payton's Big Damn band is not as advertised: big. Their sound, however, is surprisingly big - there are only three members. The Reverend contributes to their big sound the most, playing his slide guitar like he, too, sold his soul at a crossroads. His wife, Washboard Breezy, plays her namesake instrument with her eyes open wide, snarling as if possessed, while the Rev's little brother, Jayme, pounds the skins in the back. Whether from exhaustion or confusion, there was a definite lull in the crowd's excitement level, but the Reverend taught us to love him and his Band. He got the audience involved by using call-and-response during songs like "Two Bottles of Wine" (in which the Band was joined by Matt Hensley and Bob Schmidt of Flogging Molly) and told us the story behind "Your Cousin's On 'COPS'" (which is pretty self-explanatory). Before "Mama's Fried Potatoes," even challenged us to declare that our mothers' own potatoes couldn't be better the one his own mother makes ("If they're so good," he said, "how 'come she ain't got a song about them?"). By the end of their set, even the girl next to me who had been texting her friend about how much the Band sucked was jumping up and down and screaming for them.

Both bands were probably the best opening acts I've ever seen. They were not, as worded by Ricky Wilson of Kaiser Chiefs, "the soundtrack to buying beer." Both brought memorable sounds and high-energy performances and probably earned a few extra dollars at the merch table afterwards. I just would have put the Band first on the bill.

As for the big guys...

Frontman Dave King was essentially the show. With the opening acts, I watched every member of the band - even all six of the Cokes. As exciting and danceable as Flogging Molly's records are, it's surprising how little the band moves. I suppose I'm being a bit unfair. They sounded fantastic, and they were obviously enjoying themselves - "This is probably the best Sunday this Catholic's ever had," King quipped in between mouthfuls of Guinness. However, I really expected more jumping around and guitar (or banjo) slinging. I blame most of this on fiddle and flute player Bridget Regan. With her long dark hair obscuring half of her face, she appears to be the real-life counterpart of Violet from The Incredibles, but with fast fingers instead of the power of invisibility. (Perhaps it is unfair of me to criticise her so, but being a violinist myself, I'm fairly biased.) Listening to her parts at home, I'm always inspired to dance around or even learn to play them, and I expected a performance to accompany it.
One highlight was the performance of "Within A Mile Of Home," when all the bands crowded on stage to sing the "la la"'s that end the song. Another was when King took the stage by himself to perform the beginning of "Black Friday Rule," and it was clear then that he was the true owner of the stage. The rest of Flogging Molly eventually joined him to finish the song, and bid us farewell with another praise to pirates, "Salty Dog."

They sound great live, and they're definitely not the deadest band I've seen on stage, but much of the energy in the venue came from the fans. Crowd response can make or break a gig, and in this case, the crowd definitely made the most of it. King's disses on Oliver Cromwell and praises of his homeland stirred all the Irish blood in the room, and his howls into the microphone set it boiling. But take away the adoring fans and you're left with a bit less.

I check my phone as I enter the lobby - it's now two minutes past midnight. It's officially St. Patrick's Day - and that's just how it should be.

In Rainbows: the aftermath

From NME.com:

Muse might ditch album format
Mar 14, 2008

Muse have revealed they might ditch the album format and only release new material as singles from now on.

Although the band are currently in an Italian studio working on new material, the Teignmouth trio have admitted they want to experiment with the way that new material reaches fans.

Speaking to NME.COM frontman Matt Bellamy said: "I don’t think we’re going to approach the next album like we’re making an album."

He added: "I like the idea of releasing a series of songs, every month or every couple of months – just putting songs out there. Almost like making the single a more prominent format, and then every few years doing a best of from that period and that would be the album. So in other words, throw out songs every couple of months and see how people like them."

I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this idea. It's an interesting approach, to be sure. Let's just hope the audio is decent quality so Trent Reznor won't have as much reason to complain... and I'm pretty sure we don't have to worry about Muse not putting out cover art.

What I do and don't like is that this - at least in my mind - eliminates the concept of b-sides... almost. It seems to me that if Muse follows this format, they will release every full song they have recorded, thus making it an official release and more accessible to everybody, not just die-hard Muse fans, although I'm sure most normal people will wait for the "best of" CD anyway, at which point the songs not on it could now be considered b-sides. I like this because I like collecting b sides. My top two favourite Franz Ferdinand songs of all time are b sides. The downside is, I didn't have to pay for most of the b sides I have...

I am pretty sure I'm not making any sense. I literally just had my coffee.

who asked you, Trent Reznor?

I won't have much interesting to say until after Sunday, but I have a possible gig lined up for Friday, so expect more from me then. In the meantime, another piece from NME.com:

Trent Reznor attacks Radiohead for download release

Nine Inch Nails mainman Trent Reznor has criticised the unconventional release of Radiohead’s album 'In Rainbows, dubbing it "insincere."

Reznor’s comments come a week Nine Inch Nails released a set of instrumental tracks 'Ghosts I-IV' that included a similar free download option.

Yesterday (March 12), the band’s website had processed 781,917 transactions, and had sold out of the 2,500 box sets being sold for $300, according to the Chicago Tribune.

However, speaking on the subject of Radiohead to American TV Network ABC, Reznor said: "What they (Radiohead) did was a cool thing. But if you look at what they did, though, it was very much a bait and switch to get you to pay for a MySpace - quality stream. There's nothing wrong with that - I but don't see that as a big revolution [that] they're kinda getting credit for."

Reznor added: "What they did right: they surprised the world with a new record, and it was available digitally first. What they did wrong: by making it such a low quality thing, not even including artwork ... to me that feels insincere."

Unlike Radiohead after the release of ‘In Rainbows’, Reznor decided to make his album's sales figures public.

First off, he's a bit late to be on the "let's hate on Radiohead" train. As for not including artwork, I don't think the right word is "insincere" - more like "incomplete."

Trent's issue with the lack of artwork as well as the poor quality of the audio were both recently solved when In Rainbows physically hit stores. Some might say this is because people will no longer have the option of getting it for free - I say, you get what you pay for. (And if you were one of those probably few who did pay for it online, Thom Yorke appreciates it, I'm sure.) Audio quality aside, the free download worked both as a gimmick and as a way to get people to think differently about the music industry.

Some have said Radiohead's free download option is an act of arrogance. And offering a $300 box set of Ghosts doesn't qualify?

I took a peek - to be fair - at the website, to see if NIN included artwork for these new tracks. They did:

Really? I know this isn't a huge in-stores album, but come on. It's basically a simple Photoshop effect and, that, to me, is truly insincere.

Spermfortickets.com???

To start things off, an interesting bit from NME.com:

Sperm donors are to be offered free tickets to any music festival in Europe under a new initiative.

Passes to a festival of their choice will be offered to any donors in Europe who contribute to Ireland’s sperm reserves.

Irish stocks are apparently dwindling, with demand far higher than is sustainable, and donations down by 40% over the last four years.

The Sperm For Tickets initiative makes use of special donation containers and a fast courier network to offer donation via mail.

Anyone in Europe can request a donation pack, indicating which European festival they wish to attend via Spermfortickets.com.

I love how crazy Europeans are about their festivals. The Oxegen Festival in Ireland has already sold out, and the V Festival sold out in 90 minutes. (Which is understandable, because Muse is headlining.)